


High Tides

by Number_Twelve



Series: The Cat Returns Oneshots and others [17]
Category: Neko no Ongaeshi | The Cat Returns
Genre: Baron is like Jack Sparrow LMAO, Day One, Enjoy the read !, F/M, Free day, Haru is the captain, Help, How Do I Tag, It was fun to write, Muta's a cat, Pirate AU, TCR Birthday BAsh 2020, Toto... is Toto, i am bad at tagging, lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:21:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25529575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Number_Twelve/pseuds/Number_Twelve
Summary: Pirate AU for the TCR Birthday Bash, Day One (FREE DAYYYY!)
Relationships: Baron Humbert von Gikkingen/Yoshioka Haru
Series: The Cat Returns Oneshots and others [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1740934
Kudos: 4





	High Tides

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr ^^  
> Enjoy the read!

“You will now drop your weapon or suffer the consequences. Humbert, you’ve been defeated.” Haru pointed the sword at her enemy’s chest, giving him a defiant glare. Daring him to try attack her. But as the other pirate looked around him, at the rest of Haru’s men… he knew he was outnumbered. He let go off his sword’s handle, letting it clank down to his side, breathing heavily as the captain poked him with her sword. 

“Tie this scallywag to the mast of the ship. Keep guard on him. He may not look it… but he’s smarter than he seems.” She said. Two of the other pirates grabbed Humbert’s arms, dragging him to the mast of the ship and tying him up so tightly that it was hard to breathe.

He didn’t dare complain yet.

“Do we keep guard on him?” one of the pirates asked.

“Yes. Keep your eyes on him at all times and do not leave him unchecked at any times until I say so.” The Captain said, sheathing her sword. Her brown eyes met Humbert’s, who looked back at her with a poker face. “Don’t try a trick unless you have a death wish… to end up as fish food.” She said. Then she turned around and walked away, closing the door of her office behind her. The two pirates who were to guard him sat on the ship’s deck, one of them tucking out a deck of cards and shuffling them. Or a few minutes, they were quiet. As the pirate finished handing out the cards, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, looking at Humbert out of the corner of his eyes. 

“You were stupid to try attack Captain Yoshioka by yourself.” He said. Baron shrugged nonchalantly.

“I wasn’t trying to.” He answered, looking up at the nearly cloudless sky. What a day to become a prisoner, really!

“Then what were you planning to do?” the other pirate grunted, placing a card on the floor. An eight of hearts.

“I was going to warn her. I thought that after all these years, she still wouldn’t be mad at me.” He replied coyly.

“Warn her about what?” the first pirate asked.

“Your treachery.” There was a short silence.

“You say one word about that, and your head will soon be resting at the bottom of the sea and being fed on by fish.” The second pirate hissed, leaning close to his face. Humbert raised an eyebrow.

“Threats will make no difference to me.” Was his answer. Before he could block it, the pirate had punched him right across the face. He kept back the yelp of pain and felt a warm line of liquid run down from his nose. He kept his mouth firmly closed as to not have to taste it.

“Threats will make a difference. You think you are smart, but I bet you won’t like to end up with broken limbs before we chuck in the sea, would you?” the pirate said. “At least you would have a chance with ropes… but not with broken limbs, no.”

“Yes, I got the point when you made it.” Humbert said calmly, moving his gaze away.

The pirate stared at him for a moment longer before leaning back and focusing on the card game. Humbert kept his eyes on the sky above them, watching seagulls fly above them, the sails flap. Maybe this would be his last day. Maybe he should have left Haru alone, let her deal with her soon-to-be rogue crew. But Humbert was not like that.

Maybe that was something bad for him, but he would never be able to not help others.

Hours passed and the pirates changed shifts every hour. They all didn’t bother answering his polite requests for water, or his questions of where they were going. It was beginning to really annoy him.

“Look, I am sure that Captain Yoshioka will not be pleased if a prisoner of hers died at the hands of her crew and not at the end of her sword,” he said loudly by the end of the third hour. The two pirates in charge of him gave him menacing looks. That didn’t shut him up, though. “She won’t be pleased if I died of thirst rather than getting devoured by sharks after getting pushed off the plank.”

“Shut up, Gikkingen.” One of the pirates said, sharpening a small knife. “A disgusting, piece of vermin like yerself will die at the hands of our captain sooner or later. So shut yer mouth.”

“Well, a disgusting, piece of vermin like myself still needs water to survive. How about you are kind for once in your life and get me some water, eh?” Humbert said.

“I said, SHUT. YER. MOUTH.” The pirate snapped, giving him a death glare. Still, Humbert felt like the famous Jack Sparrow when he raised his eyebrows at the other man in a challenging manner. He leaned forward all that the ropes would allow him (which was not much).

“And what will happen if I don’t?” he asked.

“You little piece of—!”

"Care to tell me why is everyone so loud today?" came a cold voice. All pirates (Humbert included) turned their heads to find the ship's captain standing at the door, eyes cold as she looked at them. Baron noticed the hatred hidden in the eyes of others. Among fear.

"The prisoner is being troublesome." the other pirate replied. Haru slowly walked over tol them, the pirates moving aside to let her pass. She crouched opposite Baron, who held her gaze calmly.

"What?" Haru asked quietly. "What is making you so annoying today?"

"I haven't had any water in three hours. I am thirsty, and I hoped that your crew would be kind enough to spare me suffering before my death." Humbert replied. He wondered if he should tell her about the treachery around her... but she wouldn't believe him. The captain gave him a hard look, short brown hair flowing around her. She would look beautiful if she weren't so cold and terrifying.

"Give him a little water and then put something over his mouth to shut him up." she finally said, much to Humbert's surprise. She stood again, and walked back into her quarters, slamming the door behind her as she went.

"I really can't wait until she's gone." one of the pirates muttered, somewhere behind him. "It will be a bloody great surprise, won't it? Seeing her face..."

"Shut up. She might hear you and then we will be the ones going over board." another pirate hissed back. One of the pirates who had been watching Humbert stood and went ovedr to the ship's trapdoor, pulling it open and dissapearing inside. He returned moments later with a cup in his hand. He walked back to Humbert and the later saw that it was water. Before he could think of anything else to say, the man was pressing the cup against his lips and forcing him to swallow the water.

It tasted horrible.

"Ohohoho, did you get him sewer water?" one of the pirates guffawed. The other pirate grinned. Humbert suddenly felt sick. He couldn't believe that he had just swallowed-- it was way too disgusting to think about.

"This will be the last water you taste." the pirate said. Humbert managed to spit out part of the horrid taste.

"Not unless the captain you are about to betray decides to slice my head off." he said. He received a punch, this time landing on his right eye. He didn't have to look in a mirror to know that there was a bruise blooming over it. A ragged, smelly cloth was tied over his mouth. His eyes watered at the unpleasant fumes that wafted out of it.

"Soon the captain's remains will be lying at the bottom of the sea alongside yours," one of the pirates hissed into his ear. Humbert had the feeling that there was a fifty percent chance that it could happen. He dropped his head back and stared up. Never in his lonesome life had he ever felt so hopeless.

Haru’s eyes were on the old parchment map and her calculations, but half her mind was wondering why Humbert had appeared on her ship. She knew he hadn’t forgotten what had happened a few years ago, but there was a chance he had been hoping she had forgotten about it.

Well, too bad that she hadn’t. She reached for the compass and checked the directions, marking places on the maps and drawing labels in neat, loopy handwriting. She then sighed loud and clear, turning her head to the black bird that perched on top of her wardrobe.

“Toto.” she said. It looked at her.

“Yes, captain?” he cawed.

“Go tell Jenkins that I would like to speak to our prisoner. Tell them to bring him here along with some rop to tie him to the chair.” she answered. The crow nodded and flew down from his perch, slipping out through the open window. The captain stood up.

“Keep watch on the office while I am gone.” she told the fat cat curled up on her armchair.

“Aye aye, captain.” he replied. She opened the door to her small sleeping quarters and shut herself in.

Humbert had been pointlessly watching the sky when a black bird landed on the ship’s side. The two pirates guarding him looked at it.

“You are to take the prisoner into our captain’s office.” He said. “He will have to be tied to his chair.”

“Understood.” one of the pirates grunted, getting to his feet. The crow watched as they hacked through Humbert’s ropes, the prisoner taking deep breaths with some strain. He was lifted up by both arms and dragged to the office. They opened the door and dragged him inside, placing him on the chair opposite the Captain’s and tying him to it. The crow swooped in through a window, landing on the back of an armchair where a fat, cream-white cat was curled up on. The two pirates walked out and shut the door, leaving them there.

“Why did ye come back?” the fat cat asked with a yawn, “Captain’s still mad about what ye did.”

“I came to warn her, perhaps help.” Humbert replied smoothly, “But I am wondering whether I should have ignored it.”

“It would have been the best choice. Then you wouldn’t be about to be turned into a carpet.” the crow cawed.

“Toto, you can be quiet now. Even I don’t do such things.” The captain entered the room through another room, walking over to her chair and sitting down, “You really shouldn’t have bothered. Do you really think I don’t know about what goes on in my own ship?”

“So you know that–?”

“Of course I do. I am not stupid. You, however, seem to be. Returning after what you did. You can’t cure bullet holes with bandages, you know?” Humbert remained silent, looking down. “I am still annoyed and hurt about it. You shouldn’t have come. Now I won’t hesitate killing you.” Humbert looked up and found that her eyes were hard… but he saw the empty threat in them. He couldn’t help his eyebrows lifting a bit.

“Is that so?” he asked, leaning forward as much as he could.

“Don’t bother trying your charms on me.” Haru said. Humbert moved back again, sighing.

“So you already know that your men are going to betray you.” he said.

“Your lies won’t work on me either.” He snapped his gaze up.

“I thought you–”

“That’s ridiculous. My men are as loyal as dogs.” she said.

“Even dogs will turn on you. They are planning your death.” he said all of this in a quiet voice, but he got the sensation that they already knew that he had spilled the beans. Haru laughed.

“I have had enough of your filthy lies. Tonight, your body shall be lying at the bottom of the sea among the fish.” she said, getting up. The door opened and two pirates came in. “Tie him up again. We will be watching him walk off the plank tonight, boys.” the pirates grinned as they undid his ropes and dragged him to the entrance. He was tied up once more at the pole as all the pirates gathered around. One of them (the one who had punched him first) walked to crouch in front of him.

“Do you know what happens to squealers?” he asked. Humbert made a face at how pungent his breath smelled.

“No. But I am guessing that you–” the man punched his cheek. Humbert, who really hadn’t been expecting it, tasted the familiar salty taste on his tongue. He waited for more… and it came.

“Have you learned your lesson, scumbag?” one of the pirates hissed, wiping blood off his knuckles. Humbert spat out blood, not too sure from where it had come from. He remained quiet, mostly fearing for his pride. The pirates around him cackled with cruel joy as another punch was thrown in his direction. He flinched, but when he opened his eyes to hear roars of laughter, he saw that the pirate was howling with laughter, the fist he had pretended to hit Humbert with now clutching at his sides.

They really do like to play dirty, don’t they? Humbert thought, rolling his eyes. 

“What’s all this noise? I am trying to plan our next route, boys. I can’t concentrate with the lot of you howling with laughter,” Haru’s door opened to find her crew crowded around the mast and her prisoner’s face bleeding and bruised from the hits he had received. The pirates all turned to her, Humbert looking at her with his functioning eye (the other was closed underneath an alarming amount of swelling). A deep silent reigned the ship for a few seconds, excepting the flap of wings as Toto flied over to land on her shoulder and Muta’s grunt as his eyes found Humbert. 

“What,” Haru growled, narrowing her eyes, “is going on?”

“We were, ah, giving our prisoner a-”

“Our prisoner?” Haru echoed, her hand landing on her sword’s handle. “My prisoner, you mean.” she walked over to him and sliced right through his ropes, “And he’s going to die today.” The pirates whooped as she grabbed his arm and pulled him to his feet, dragging him over to the plank. Humbert was far too drained from energy to be able to properly struggle against her grip. Her grip on his arm tightened even more. 

“Trust me, will you?” she hissed in his ear. She dragged him over to the plank and prodded him along the plank. He staggered, barely catching himself before he fell over the edge. 

“Jump! Jump! Jump!” The pirates were shouting. Haru prodded him- this time with her sword- and this time his foot missed the wood completely. He went plummeting down, the breath punched right out of him when he landed in the water. He tried to swim his way up to the surface, struggling. He looked up and saw that Haru was standing at the end of the plank.

“I have heard of your treachery and I am ashamed of you all.” she was saying, sheathing her sword. “I brought you all in, gave you all a home. You will have to kill me sometime else. Now, I say goodbye.” she took off her feathered pirate hat and saluted, jumping back. Toto flew off her shoulder before she plummeted into the water, swooping down over the deck and picking Muta up in his talons. Haru resurfaced next to Humbert.

“Swim!” she gasped, her brown hair sticking to her head. Humbert made a last effort to swim after her around the back of the ship where a small row boat had been set up. The captain clambered in, pulling Humbert inside after her. She unceremoniously dropped him just as Toto and Muta arrived.

“YOUCH!” Muta yowled when Toto dropped him on the deck. The crow landed on the row boat’s side.

“Captain, you might want to begin rowing.” he cawed, nodding up.

“CATCH THEM!!” one of the pirates howled. Haru was quick to row, and soon the ship was far from them.

“I messed with the steering wheel.” she explained, grunting with the effort of rowing. Humbert- ever the gentleman-ish lone pirate- wanted to help her, but he was in a bloody state. When he tried to reach for one of the rowing sticks, Haru slapped away his hand and gave him a look that could have burned into the back of his head. 

“Don’t expect me to play nice with you,” she said gruffly. “We are only allied in this. As soon as we get to shore, I will dump you.” 

“Nice to know.” he grunted, moving into a better position. “And when you dump me, what will you do?” 

“Why should I tell you?” 

“Because… I saved you back there.”

“And I returned the favor. I could have left you in the hands of those idiots.”

“Then why did you not?” a short-lived silence.

“I never thought I would say this, but I had a change of heart. Happy?” 

“To be alive? Yes. But you could have saved me from the beating.”

“Shut up or I will chuck you in the sea.” 

“Ever the cheerful captain, eh?”

“Are you Jack Sparrow’s cousin or something?”

“Why?” 

“You are lonesome, stupid and dramatic.” Humbert snorted.

“Right, yeah. Weren’t you the one who saluted before you fell off the plank?” he retorted. And very not unlike Toto and Muta, who were tiredly listening to them, they argued about nonsense. Truth was, they kind of enjoyed it.


End file.
